Homeless Persons' Memorial Day

As soon as I got home from the VISTA meeting in Findlay on Monday, I dropped off my stuff, jumped in my car and drove across town to a gorgeous, huge, old stone church, where 1Matters.org, the local group that puts on Tent City, was leading a memorial service to recognize all those who had died homeless or otherwise unseen by society as a whole.

Candles were lit as friends read the names of those who had died, whether from cold, illness, overdose, homicide, suicide, etc., many perhaps noted in passing by the general public (if at all) only for the way they died and then quickly forgotten again.

Also honored was an older local woman who recently died. She was the founder and director of St. Paul's Community Center and spent her life working with unhoused and destitute men.

National Homeless Persons' Memorial Day was started in 1990 by the National Coalition for the Homeless. It is held on each year on Dec 21, the first day of winter, the longest night of the year. Last year, 120 cities held events to honor the more than 3,200 people who died unhoused during the year.

INFJ

Idealist/Counselor/Teacher

That's me.

At least according to the personality tests and leadership style exercises I did recently.

Monday was one of those perfectly busy days that are full and yet not taxing. All my fellow Northwest Ohio VISTAs met in Findlay for our quarterly meeting.

The most interesting part was talking about personality types and leadership styles.

For personality types, we all took the Myers-Briggs Personality Test. I came out an INFJ, which did seem pretty accurate.

The first letter, E or I, refers to the source of the person's energy (not necessarily how outgoing the person is) -- extroversion (E) for those who need to talk things through and introversion (I) for those who need to think things through.

The second letter, N or S, refers to how the person receives information -- Intuition (N) means the person can see the big picture and future possibilities while Sensing (S) means the person tends to trust the establishiment and the tried and true.

The third letter, F or T, refers to how the person makes decisions -- feeling (F) for those who consider others before making decisions and thinking (T) for those who use the logical choice.

The last letter, P or J, refers to the person's personal life -- percieving (P) for those who are flexible and enjoy surprises and changing plans, and judging (J) for people who like structure, routines and to-do lists.

I'm pretty strong to the one side in my first two letters, but the last two -- although they always stayed the same each time I've taken this test -- are closer to the line between the two so I'm probably more in the middle on those, especially the last one.

We also talked about leadership styles and divided ourselves into North, South, East and West styles.

North people are assertive, quick deciders and focused on the bottom line. South are supportive, nurturing compromisers, sometimes to the point of valuing the needs and wants of others above their own. East are visionaries who see the big picture or future possibilities and like to experiment and take risks. West people are careful and objective, weighing details and all sides to an issue before moving forward.

We each chose primary and secondary leaderships styles and then talked about the strengths and weaknesses of each, how to work best with each type of person and why each type is necessary and plays an important role in getting things done.

I identifed as a West person primarily and South secondarily. Interestingly, several people said they didn't see me as a West person. So I don't know if they don't know me or if I don't know myself or if I'm somehow projecting a different style than I really am.

This quiz I found later puts me as East, followed by West, South and North. I suppose most people have bits of each. I know I have parts of West, South and East -- but not really North. I don't see much of that one in me at all. Who knows.

An interesting activity was planning a mock vacation with our fellow types. The South person drew a picture of mountains. The Wests also drew a picture, a map of the U.S. for our random camping roadtrip -- with a specific destination (Mexico). And the Norths had no pictures, but a detailed itinerary of their European vacation -- what they were doing, when and where. (There were no East people in our group.)

We also talked about volunteer recruitment, conflict management and resume writing. Plus, we ate pizza and delicious brownies, and had a fun holiday white elephant gift exchange.

Long day, but enjoyable overall.

Here Comes Santa Claus

Food for Thought on Saturday was snowy but not terribly cold. Santa was there! I had some good conversations and actually got a few bites on food stamp applications. Yay!

Bridges Out of Poverty

As part of In-Service Training in Columbus earlier this month, I attended a "Bridges Out of Poverty" seminar.

It was a condensed version of the typically-several-days-long seminar based on the book of the same title.

The basis of the book is that an individual brings with him/her the "hidden rules" of the class in which he/she was raised, so that even though the income of the individual may rise significantly, many of the patterns of thought, social interaction, cognitive stategies, etc., remain with the individaual.

Because schools and businesses operate from the norms of the middle class, sometimes people coming from poverty have trouble fitting in and succeeding -- not because they can't, but because they don't know the hidden rules.

It stands to reason that in order to move forward from poverty to middle class or from middle class to wealth, an individual must give up relationships for achievement (at least for some period of time).

For example, when people from lower classes have aspirations for higher education or a different life, instead of being supported, they are often mocked or sabataged, looked upon with scorn or suspicion, with a "Who do you think you are? Think you're better than us?" mentality.

Other thought-provoking points from the book:

-Everyone, regardless of class, has varying levels of resources: financial, emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, support systems, relationships/role models, knowledge of hidden rules and coping strategies. The more resources one has, the more possible it is to move to successfully navigate the world or possibly move into a higher class.

-Schools and workplaces operate in the "formal register" -- the register of the middle and upper classes -- where speech is linear and direct. The typical register of the lower classes is the "casual register," which tends to be rambling and circular. All the information is there, but doesn't tend to be presented in a straightforward manner.

I've seen this tendency in action when working with people to fill out applications as well as working as a reporter. It's helpful to remember that sometimes it's more productive to let people talk and get it all out their own way, rather than cutting them off and forcing them to get quickly to the point.

-There are many forms of welfare, but the poor are the only ones who are labeled undeserving. Others who recieve welfare are students wtih government fellowships, homeowners with federal-tax and mortgage-interest deductions, corporations with government subsides, and military bases that are kept open to prevent job losses.

-The focus of each class is different. For food, the lower class asks "Did you have enough?", the middle class asks "Did you like it?", while the upper class asks "Was it presented well?" For money, the lower class is concerned about how it is used/spent, the middle class with how it is managed and the upper class with how it is invested. For humor, the lower class jokes about people and sex, the middle class about situation and the upper class about social faux pas.

-Finally, there were interesting checklists entitled "Could you survive in poverty?" "Could you survive in middle class?" and "Could you survive in wealth?" with skills/knowledge you'd need for each lifestyle.

I had read this book before this session and thought there were parts that seemed overly simplified or stereotyped, but there are definately helpful pieces to be gleaned from it. A worthy read.

IST: Day Three

I'm not gonna lie. It's getting late and I'd rather read Twilight before going to bed than write about what I did today. Lame I know.

But here are some pictures to tide you over.

UPDATE: OK, the pictures above are from a session called "Strategic Collaboration." I was hoping it would give some good pointers about how to recognize potential partnerships in the city and then go about establishing them. But it was different than I was expecting and was probably the least interesting and helpful of the trip.

But there were still good things to glean from it.

We played a game with a balloon where we had to stand in a circle and join hands and use various body parts the leader called out to keep the balloon afloat. Our balloon wasn't very full of air, so it hit the ground alot.

Afterward we talked about how some members of the group had better balloon-handling skills and sometimes it was better to stay out of their way and let them do their thing. However, when that person lunged forward, the arm of the person next to them had to be pulled with them, symbolizing that the group was still connected but "giving" some leeway/flexibility for the person to do what needed to be done. Teamwork and communication was necessary.

Later, our groups had to come up with an arts and crafts representation of a partnership.

My group's was the interlocking pipecleaner circles, representing that each agency or person brings their unique talents to the table toward our central goal (the middle circle) and together we are stronger and more connected than alone.

I thought the other group's artwork pictured above had a good concept. Each person in the group made their own piece and then all the various pieces were loosely joined. And because they were loosely joined, the larger piece had the "flexibility" for each piece to come to the top and be the "lead piece" for a partiular project that played to that groupmemeber's strength.

Later, we all took a conflict styles survey that was supposed to show how we respond in a situation where your wishes differ from another person's. I ranked low in competitiveness, middle in collaborating and accomidating, and high in compromising and avoiding.

It was an interesting excercise, but I found the questions hard to answer sometimes because my answer would depend on who I am talking to (boss vs. colleague vs. friend) and the situation and even my mood that day.

Finally, we talked the three levels of collaboration: information sharing, resource sharing and joint ventures. I've been involved with all three types as a VISTA, but mostly the first two. We also talked about how fear and trust issues between agencies is one of the biggest barriers against collaboration.

IST: Day Two

Today's first session was Powerful Public Speaking.

The room was super-colorful room, complete with bubbles, play-doh, music and quotes on colorful paper. The girl sitting next to me commented it looked like a kindergarten classroom.

Fact: In a recent poll, public speaking was ranked the No. 1 fear in America; death was ranked No. 4. So apparently people would rather DIE than speak in public.

We talked about what makes a good and bad speaker and got tips on improving our own public speaking from a small group we gave a little speech to.

Since pretty much my whole job involves public speaking and communicating with others, I thought it was a helpful class with some good tips and reminders.

One piece of advice I like that I already use is "FITYMI" (Fake it 'till you make it). Being naturally intoverted (and a recovering perfectionist), I sometimes have to remind myself that no one has to know I'm shy. I can pretend to be comfortable and outgoing and it usually works.

Some good takeaway points I need to work on: better eye contact, OWN IT (the speech, the agency/program I'm representing), project confidence with passion/enthusiasm, don't be afraid to mess up, remember to focus on WIIFM (what's in it for me -- all anyone listening really cares about), boomarang questions (turn questions back on the class).

My second session was Reflection on Service.



We talked about the pluses, minuses and interestings (things neither positive nor negative, just noted) about our VISTA service over the past four months.

Pluses for me: meeting new people, learning new things, interesting discussions with passionate people, gaining confidence with teaching, having a fellow VISTA in the office to talk to, and becoming a fully certifed trainer.

Minuses for me: the total confusion and feeling of ignorance and inadequacy at the beginning, the huge learning curve, the disorganization, and the governmental bureaucracy.

Interestings for me: Daytime hours, the inter-competativeness of the nonprofit world, and the inaccessable work environment.

The most useful part was "solution circles," where we broke into smaller groups and brainstormed solutions to a problem we each face at work.

I asked for advice on sites that express interest in Ohio Benefit Bank, but don't become sites because they have no time or manpower to take on any new responsibilities.

I got some good suggestions, including presenting the reluctant site with "real-life workable models" -- ways that other similar sites made it work -- and actively recruiting "unattached volunteers" to partner up with sites who need extra manpower.

As another participant pointed out in our discussion afterward, I wasn't sure my problem was really solvable. I had been planning to just work around it (ie move on if a site said no), but it feels good to come away with a fresh look from people not involved in the situation and their new insights and ideas.

It was nice to step back from the daily grind and think critically about the bigger issues that tend to get skipped over as moment-by-moment issues to deal with come up.

My last session was Justice Talking, which was optional, after everyone had been dismissed from dinner, but I'm glad I went.



We read a short story by Franz Kafka and then discussed it. It was just like English class -- I loved it! The story was taken from the book "The Civically Engaged Reader," which I just might be adding to my reading list...

Poverty Simulation

I'm in Columbus all week for In-Service Training, which is a time to pause, reflect, learn and share. It's also a chance to get back together for the first time since pre-service orientation with all the VISTAs from across Ohio who all started around the same time.

Today I participated in a Poverty Simulation.

**Maureen, you're not allowed to read this so that it isn't ruined for you when you go to your in-service training. They asked us not to talk about it to those who haven't done it.**

Everyone was assigned a new identity and handed a card with instructions and background information about ourselves and a packet of personal affects (ID cards/monopoly money).

I was Joyce Jacobi, a 19-year-old high school dropout with a 1-year-old son, Josh. I didn't work. My son's father didn't pay child support. I lived in a rented mobile home with my new boyfriend, Jack.

My instructions said I was supposed to go see social services about finding a job so that I could keep my government benefits.

There were a variety of businesses set up around the room, like "bank," "school," "grocery store," "workplace," etc.

The simulation covered one "month," broken down into four 15-minute "weeks," in which we had to go around paying our bills, going to work, etc, and try to make ends meet. We couldn't visit anyplace without handing over a "transportation pass," which we had to buy and which stood for the gas, bus fee or walk time it took to get there.

The first "week," everyone was walking around slowly, trying to figure out where to go and what to do. By the fourth "week," it was chaos.

The first week, I visited the social services office, as instructed, but didn't make it out of the waiting room.

P.S. Bad mom moment: Just after the simulation started, while I was in the waiting room, I realized, "Oh crap I have a kid!...What did I do with him?" Luckily, my boyfriend had him. (He took him to work, which should have gotten him fired, but luckily I guess no one noticed.)

In week two, I had to go straight back to social services to finish up, so that used up another transportation pass. I also went to the grocery store and bought two weeks worth of groceries with my food stamps.

The third week, we got evicted. That was because I didn't have the money or the transportation card to get to the office and pay rent. My boyfriend was the only one working, so I had been waiting for him to have time to cash his check and maybe pawn our stereo to have enough money.

When he got back with some money and passes, the rent office was closed. Later, I was able to make a partial payment, but I had a late fee tacked on. But at least we were back in our house. I also applied for a job and was told to come back for an interview.

The fourth week, I paid the utilities and the late rent fee. I went to my job interview and, despite not having a high school diploma, talked my way into a receptionist job by saying I was a fast typist.

In the end, I think we did alright. Although we only had enough food for two of the four weeks and skimped on some other expenses, we ended the exercise with a roof over our heads, two jobs, nothing pawned and some extra cash.

But the next month, it would have started all over.

There wasn't time to think or plan and we never just sat at home together. We were always up and around, scrambling to pay this or that. "Tyranny of the Moment" it's called.

The most interesting part was the discussion at the end where we heard about everyone else's experiences. There were lots of good insights from the perspective of widowers, young kids, pregnant teens, etc.

Some families had figured out "the system" better than others -- for instance, discovering that the "Community Action Agency" office, hidden in a corner, gave away free bus passes. I never even tried going there.

We also found out the various offices had been trying (and succeeding) in ripping people off. Also, one of the staffers going around stealing unattended social security cards and trying to sell drugs (sugar packets) and other black market items.

One thing I appreciated was that my boyfriend was an jovial, resourceful hustler type. He had it all figured out and cheerfully dove right in, out there making things happen for us. That's the kind of person you need in a poverty situation. Not someone who whines or mopes or sticks their head in the sand.

Since he had the kid the whole time, I witnessed him try to use my son as a sympathy card, like asking if he could skip ahead in line for the sake of the child, but it usually didn't work. "Even with a baby, people don't give you no love" he said.

Lots of situations -- like an old widow buying drugs -- were humorous when retold in that setting. But obviously it's not funny in real life.

I thought it was an interesting exercise.

First Snow!

On Saturday morning, after weeks of fairly mild winterish weather, the temperature dipped into a still, deep chill. My car was iced over.

Food for Thought, the weekly sack lunch event at the Main Library, has so far been a pretty enjoyable, relaxing outside backyard atmosphere.

Not this week.

My poor new fellow VISTA Maureen's first experience wasn't very good. Apparently, I forgot to mention it was an outside event, so she was pretty chilly in just a hoodie. Oops.

I'm told the event takes place rain, sleet, shine or 10-foot drifts, every Saturday, so this could get interesting.

Maureen scurried out of there ASAP, and I packed it in not too much later, taking refuge inside the library to regain feeling in my fingers before meeting some friends for lunch.

As I left the library, it started to snow! I always love the first snowfall of the season, but still...

Brrr!

Kenton

December already!

On the 3rd, I drove a dull hour and a half to little Kenton, Ohio, to conduct a tax training. Kenton is in Hardin County, which is out of my range, but it was a favor fill-in for a fellow VISTA.

The last time I'd stopped in Kenton was in junior high when I went to the Kenton National Coon Dog Fest with a friend's family. And, yes, it was just as rednecky as it sounds.

The tax training was held at the new Community Action Commission building, pictured above. The area United Way kindly provided lunch, so that was a nice perk.

There were only three in the class and they didn't ask too many questions. Which was good, because I'm still trying catch up and research the answers to all the questions my LAST tax class asked, two pages worth. They were a curious bunch...



There was one hitch in Kenton.

I discovered at the end of the class that one counselor's name was spelled incorrectly in our system, which in turn meant her login name was spelled incorrectly. So I felt bad about that. The name was given to me wrong and I got it fixed, but I should have checked the spelling when I took attendence and caught that right away.